So life moved on.. and I moved home

After my fun and exciting trip to another state I moved home and went through divorce number 1... the one that I don't really count as a divorce because well... we were legally married but again.. we were two kids that happened to have a child together and didn't really understand marriage.

I came home and found a job making a whopping $11,000 a yr. Somehow I managed to buy my first house at 21. Looking back it was a good move, at the time I had a plan and I just did stuff that seemed to move in that direction. Somehow I managed to meet a new guy while working full time, raising my child, and going to school more than a full course load. I had dated a bit, but didn't really have the time to settle into a relationship of any kind. In retrospect I guess I didn't really settle into this one either- he kind of latched onto me.

He came over one night with a friend's boyfriend... the boyfriend turned out to be a total sleezebag to my really great friend but that's another post... anyway they really were just looking for a place to crash but ended up going to the beach with us the next day because that's why they supposedly came down. He was fun, albeit a little possesive, ok.. and I found out later an outright liar. Not the I'm seeing other people and telling you I'm out with the boys kind of liar. A make up total BS and believe it himself kind of liar. He once told me he had 4 sisters.. and kept up the charade for months. He had names and stories for all of them. I know... big red flashing lights are going off in all of your heads but I'm young and I can't fathom it. Plus I seem to forgive waaaaay to easily. Later my mother wonders if he is going to cut me up and stuff me in a mattress but really, it wasn't like that.


We date for a while. One day he "surprises me" by moving in. I'm so easy going I don't care. I mean he was spending all his time at my house anyway. So he's supposed to buy the groceries and I pay the bills. Another brilliant idea... not. I am making decent money by then though- at least twice what I was when I bought the house, which isn't saying much but I have no credit card debt and no car payment so I really don't mind.

I catch him in a bunch of lies and have one of the moments of my life I am not particularly proud of except that the visual image absolutely cracks me up.... I catch him in an internet dating situation. Back then it was all about chat rooms. Maybe it still is... don't know... but he met some girl and he ran up my phone bill talking to her (remember I am paying the bills). He hid the bill.. and of course I noticed it missing and panicked that my phone would get cut off so I had another one sent. I called her. She of course had no idea about me. I pulled all of the cache files and printed the entire conversations between them and confronted him with them as well as her on the phone. I wanted her to hear his version. He played asleep. I got a little... ok... a lot.... mad. I was brought up that people make mistakes but if you mess up you have to own up to it and accept the consequences. I just wanted him to apologize to her on the phone and to me. Wow... it turned into quite a one sided fight. He just laid there and pretended to sleep. I stood over him with ice cold water and threatened to dump it on him if he didn't open his eyes. He didn't.. and yep... I dumped it on him. Ok... so it was a little irrational. I was taught not to make threats you couldn't follow through on. The part that makes me laugh- he did not move a muscle. Until I hung up the phone. Somehow that ended up being my fault... I left him alone too much so he had to talk to her. Whatever....

There were happier events that happened during this time. I met my best friend in the world. We really were two peas in a pod. We could finish each other's sentences and we were definitely "second moms" to each other's kids. We went through a lot. Some crazy concerts, a really bad guy situation with me... yeah when I get older I learn why I keep ending up in these situations and possibly fix it.. we'll see but we aren't there yet...

Anyway, my friend and I establish a bond and then she has to move. Not too far but about an hour away and there's a guy in her life. He seems innocent enough... wants to be involved but what I don't know is going to affect us for a few years but teach me that true friends are timeless.

My family is also great during this time. They help with my daughter, my sister and I become close, and because I've lived away from them in another state I now understand just how much they mean to me. I am definitely still daddy's girl... even if my daughter has taken the role of "his baby" and rely on him for all sorts of crazy things. It's an important bond for me. I feel watched over and taken care of, but still independent. We speak our own language. I also become closer to my mom at this time. I pretty much though my mom was the lamest person on earth through high school- which is funny because my dad was the one with the strict rules (you do NOT call boys under any circumstance) but I learned that my mom was pretty cool. I had a good time talking to her. She became my friend, not just my mom.

So I moved home, made friends, got into a crappy relationship or two, got a degree with a couple majors, bought a house, and settled into a pretty good life....